My Son's Birth Story

When you have only had one birth I think most will just assume the next will be somewhat like the first. I had hoped it would be quite different because laboring for over 24 hours is not exactly on my top ten list, but I had reservations that it was going to be much shorter. I also had expected to have him well before my due date like my daughter. From start to finish God has used this precious little one to show me that my plans and assumptions are insignificant and futile. He blessed me in innumerable ways and showed me that trusting Him was more important that trusting me. That being said let's get to the juicy details!

So, when I posted about being overdue I was only 3 days past at that point. I figured I was only a few more days away, foolishly. Because of my ginormous state and impending birth at any moment my husband decided because work was a little scarce that week he would stay home with me and work on the house as well as help me rest until I did indeed go into labor. On Tuesday I saw one of my midwives, Lindsay, and had her strip my membranes (which didn't really do much unfortunately). So we passed the days that week enjoying having each others company, going to breakfast one morning at a really neat vintage diner, watching movies at night and waiting for those darn contractions to take the shape of real labor. Thursday night we and my parents went to the county fair a few towns away. While there I tried to keep up with everyone and just walked right through most of the contractions I was having about every 10 to 15 minutes. I knew they weren't the real thing but a few were fairly "ouchy". I even wore my two year old daughter on my back for about an hour in the Ergo! By the time we went home my body was tired and I suddenly was glad that I was not in labor ;-)

Friday I had another day like a few weeks ago with spells of regular and then irregular contractions that ended when I went to bed. Discouraged I sent a text to my midwife Robin (who was on call) the next morning "Just another round of false." She encouraged me telling me it was just shaving time of my real labor. I was doubtful because I had checked myself that day (yes, I am one of those ladies!) and everything was the same as it had been for 6 weeks. I think if I have another pregnancy I will refrain from that practice because it really means nothing in hindsight!

All day Saturday I had a impulsion to be alone with Montana Man and go to the ocean. It was a weird 'craving' of sorts but my mom was willing to keep the kiddos so later in the evening we set off for a small beach about 45 minutes away. We stopped for some sandwiches on the way (and might I say that standard booths at that sandwich shop are not made for women that pregnant?) and by the time we got to the beach it was dark. The tide was at its lowest so we had to walk quite away from shore to find the water. It was beautiful with a huge orange crescent moon and a deserted expanse of smooth sand. We stood in the water only up to our ankles until they were numb from the cold and then started to walk back to the car. Of course once back to the car it took me a minute to get in because of a contraction and I had them all the way home. The stopped a bit before bed, again (can you see the pattern?).

Sunday! It's got to be today right? Contractions started up around 7:30, this time regular at 5 minutes apart and a bit more intense. With walking they were about 2-4 minutes and stronger but went back to 5 and easy once I stopped. Fed up and sleepy I laid down for a rest around 3:00 and slept til about 5:00. Contractions were quiet. MM suggested we go out for supper and a little reluctantly I agreed. It was just what I needed though. The kids had a great time and I was so glad we had that special time just the four of us! I was feeling pretty uncomfortable so I had told MM I didn't think I was going to be able to finish my meal after those hot wings! But, I did. He kind of smirked at me across the table like he knew something I didn't. Have I ever told you he has an amazing intuition? (A few days after the birth he told me he knew it was going to be the next day cause I took a long nap and was eating a ton, fueling up for the action! And, I was grumpy.) On the way home we stopped and got a couple movies. I finished both but hubby fell asleep during the last one. I decided not to wake him when I went to bed because I tossed and turned so much I knew he would sleep better where he was. Eventually he woke up around 5:00 am and crawled in bed with me.

Monday. Around 7:05 I woke up to a different contraction. This one was in my back even more than they had been and really crampy. I looked at my phone to see the time and then went back to sleep. Another one woke me up and looking at the time it had been 10 minutes. Ok... back to sleep. 10 minutes later, same thing but this one made me need to rock on my side a bit and hum at the peak. I thought, ok, if I have another one in 10 minutes I will get up and see if they change. Well I had another one in 10 minutes at 7:45. Once it was over I started to move to get up and I gushed! Startled for a second I then whacked Montana Man on the arm and told him my water just broke! I told him to grab me a towel so I could make it to the bathroom without soaking everything. Sure enough as soon as a stood I was soaked. In the bathroom I discovered another long awaited sign of labor, bloody show! Finally! I gave Kyle instructions from my throne (aka the toilet) to call my mom and see where she was. She was at the dentist getting her teeth cleaned! So, she would be back in about an hour or so. After accomplishing all my business in the bathroom and finding one of the postpartum pads to catch the fluid I started timing the now much more frequent and strong contractions that were making me hum and move through each. To my surprise they were only 2 minutes apart! Finally my brain caught up and I thought to call my midwife Robin (duh). She would be on her way after she got her kids off to school. A few minutes later she texted to say she was on her way but in the rush hour traffic so Brenda (another midwife in the practice) would be getting to me first just in case. I texted back saying they were already 1-2 minutes apart (no joke, MM was timing them for me) and getting harder but I was ok. I was on my knees leaning onto my rocking chair so I could rock with each one. I had to get up and go get another pad after a bit because I leaked trough the first already. So I walked around for a bit stopping to lean on something every couple of minutes.

Mom got back around 8:45 and shortly after Brenda arrived at 9:00. She checked his heartbeat and he sounded great. Not much later Robin got there followed close behind by Lindsay. Brenda said goodbye and went back home since she wasn't on call (she was just the closest at the time, I was glad to see her for a few minutes though!). I had texted my friends Lara and Megan who were my planning to be my other supports and they graciously rearranged their schedules best the could to be there as soon as possible. In the mean time I just labored away! I went from hands and knees leaning over a sleeping bag on my bed to sitting up and resting leaning back in between. I was most comfortable sitting that way with a heat pack on my lower back. Baby was moving quite a bit and we were having a hard time figuring out what position he was in but because of how I was laboring I'm sure we were all thinking posterior or close to it.

At 10:30 they took my vitals and after a little while I said I felt like moving but I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do. I was reaching the point where I knew moving a lot would be the best but having a hard time leaving my "comfortable spot". Finally I just switched back to hands and knees over my sleeping bag. Each time I got back in that position the pressure I was feeling lessened but the contractions got much stronger and closer together. Around this time MM got his laptop and tracked all my contractions with an app he downloaded. I kind of laughed and said it didn't really matter cause I was obviously in active labor! But, it gave him something do and feel useful as the woman that had gathered around me helped me focus and relax through each wave. By now Lara and Megan had arrived (I'm pretty sure? Lol!). I only rode out 3 or 4 contractions like I was before I was encouraged to try getting in the shower. Montana Man just hung out in the bathroom with me and he easily continued to track each wave as I am not a quiet birther. The shower really didn't do much for me so I got out after about 20 minutes. I asked to be checked once I returned to my room and I was so glad to hear I was a stretchy 5 cm and 90% effaced. Half way! From this point until about 3:00 I would mainly labor sitting in my comfy spot but every 20-30 minutes do a few contractions standing, hands and knees, or on the toilet dry heaving and shaking occasionally which made me thing I was close to or in transition. The intensity in those positions kept freaking me out but I wasn't about to admit that! At 3:15 I had Lindsay check me again and I was only 6 cm and still 90%. I was really discouraged and knew I needed to let my body stop trying to be as comfortable as possible and give in to the intensity. I wasn't tensing during contractions but I wasn't truly working with them either. I lay on my right side for a bit which upped the intensity and then went straight to the sleeping bag again. One last break in the comfy spot and I did what everyone wanted... I got up and walked.

Well it worked! Some how almost and hour passed with me walking and kneeling over the back of the couch so I could keep my weight forward hoping the little guy would turn. It was pretty obvious I was entering transition for real now because the waves were taking all my strength not to lose it now. I remember the last 20 minutes perfectly. I had an insanely strong contraction while standing holding on to MM. Then I had two more like it leaning over the couch and feeling a bit of pressure. I looked at Lara (who had left to take a test but came back!) and said I though I would be pushing soon. I sat in the rocking chair for a couple contractions to catch my breath and mentally try to prepare myself for the next stage. Back kneeling on the couch leaning on the back of it I had another really strong contraction and felt the baby move and rotate. When the next contraction started I felt him drop down and I was pushing full force with no control. I just yelled "He's coming!" and everyone ran! Lindsay managed to wrestle me out of my underwear while everyone else ran to the living room with all the supplies. Robin and Lindsay shoved chux pads under me as I got down on the floor. All this time I am pushing with no control whatsoever! MM was sitting on the couch in front of me and I just gripped and pressed my forehead into his arm like I was trying to hold on to him for some kind of anchor. Finally the contraction let up and I caught my breath. Not for long though and as I pushed again his head started to crown and was born. Lindsay unwrapped the cord that was loosely around his neck twice and I tried to push his body out. He wasn't budging or rotating. The contraction ended but I kept pushing praying he would just pop free any second. Robin and Lindsay had me step my right leg up and Lindsay reached a hand in and worked on getting his shoulder and arm free. They had me stand which brought on another contraction and finally, at 4:53 pm, I was able to push him out! I looked down and there he was! He was still and a bit floppy but after a few puffs from the bag he drew a breath and cried! Once he was breathing the handed him to me and I kind of pitifully looked for a place to sit down. Thankfully we had the birth stool in the house so I had a seat in no time and after a couple minutes I was able to deliver the placenta with no problems (Thank You Lord!). From me yelling that he was coming to this point it had only been 15 minutes, second and third stage done and done. I had not expected that!

I got laid down on the couch and they checked my vitals and the like. Little man needed some blow by oxygen for the first half hour or so and Robin held him belly down across her arm patting his back a few times to help him expel the fluid still in his lungs. After about an hour he was much improved. I nursed him for a bit and then he went to his daddy while I got cleaned up and they checked for tears back in my bedroom. Amazingly despite his size and having my midwife's hand way up there, I had only a couple tiny 'skid marks' at the top and bottom. I think we were all pretty amazed! When we weighed and measure him he was 9 pounds 7 ounces and 22 inches long! I hadn't expected him to be so large! After I got him latched on again I got to have a tour of my placenta which I was quite happy to get to do this time. It's now in my freezer waiting for a tree :-) Lara and Megan headed home after a bit to get back to their own kiddos, I was so thankful they were able to be there! Robin and Lindsay finished charting and doing last checks on me and baby and then went home also. After the kids went to bed Montana Man and I finally got to rest a bit and we spent the first night on the couch admiring the new little one that we had waited for.

He is Here!

After waiting and waiting our new little man finally made his appearance 12 days past his due date on Monday the 29th at 4:53 pm. I will post his birth story soon but the short story is I woke up, water broke, labored for about 9.5 hours and pushed for 9 minutes. He weighted in at 9 pounds 7 ounces and 22 inches long! What a chunk! It was a wonderful and wild home birth surrounded by an amazing group of loved support people. We are both doing well and I am looking forward to getting back to feeling normal!

And the Due Date Passes...

Yup. I was due the 17th. To say I am surprised would be an understatement. After trying to hold him in for a couple of months fearing he would be born pre-term now I can't seem to get him to get out! So how am I doing? Well, besides going through a couple of massive emotional ups and downs (think crying for entire days and then happily cleaning the house for hours), not that bad. Only in the last couple of days have I become uncomfortable and moving around is getting to be a challenge. I'm not really that much bigger but all my joints are either loose or cramping up so getting off the couch or rolling over is both a chore and not pretty to behold. All in perspective though I am doing great for this stage of pregnancy.

Now, let me clarify something. I am not 'post dates' I am 'late term'. A term pregnancy comes in three phases: 37 weeks= early term, 38-40= full term, 40-42= late term. Anything after 42 weeks is then considered post dates and requires closer monitoring by your practitioner. Even after going past 42 weeks there is not necessarily any reason not to let the pregnancy to continue unless mom or baby are showing signs of distress. The fact that most OB's now make it common practice to induce by 41 weeks is not only needless but also is contributing to the high c-section rate and NICU admittance. Inductions are hard on mom but are far more hard on baby who is no longer in control of the birth. Yes, really. Babies are not just a helpless being being shoved out of your body, they work just as hard to be born as you do by positioning, releasing hormones to regulate the intensity and enduring your contractions (ever had a python give you a squeeze?). Reading this article really reminded me how waiting for my baby to start his labor was the right thing to do. Not that there was much I could do but after almost a week of using homeopathy to kick things into gear with no luck I have decided to give it up. I am not eating weird stuff or walking miles and miles, making my husband 'spend time' with me or getting my membranes stripped (although I might consider it next week if still no baby). All the natural induction things you can come up with on google are only effective if your are about to go into labor anyway. I understand from an impatient stand point why women jump at the offer to be induced, but I still don't think it's right unless for health reasons beyond swollen feet and achy hips.

So I have been cooking like a crazy person, keeping the house clean, got my hair cut, walked with a friend, spent time with my kiddos and puttered in the barnyard. The greenhouse has been closed up. Nothing left to do but keep waiting. And, I really can't think of anything better to wait for.

Waiting Out Baby (Im)Patiently

WARNING: I am going to talk about 'woman stuff' so if you are squeemish please exit now.

There is a song called Tick Tick Boom by The Hives. I feel that song. Well, at least the chorus. Stupidly I thought this being pregnancy number two I would have more patience... let nature just unfold. Nature is a cruel mistress and my body just loves to screw with my head. Not only did I start having Braxton Hicks contractions at 14 weeks but I also started to show real signs of labor at 33 weeks by losing my mucus plug and discovering I was already 50% effaced and 1 cm. Now I have daily rounds of stronger contractions that always lead to nowhere and the baby dropped about 5 days ago (while I was walking in a store no less) and I have swelled up in the past couple days which caught me by surprise and my poor wedding band paid the price. I have nested about as much as I can, I don't think I have ever kept the laundry this ahead ever! My room is spotless, birth kit sitting ready to be pulled out at a moments notice. I have rested, I have kept busy, I have bounced on the ball, walked through the mall pushing a stroller, lifted heavy stuff, cleaned, worked on a puzzle, gone to bed early, googled labor signs 1000 times (funny they always stay the same!). Seriously, I feel the madness starting. Sure, I can reason that my efforts are futile, the little booger will come when he gosh darn pleases. But, really? Why does my body need to tease me with being ridiculously ready for labor without actually going into labor? Yes, my due date is 3 weeks away... see my point! It's like packing for a trip 3 weeks in advance, dumb and frustrating cause you have to wait and stare at those bags.

Now, if I were a midwife I would just say that my body just likes to prepare early, relax and just let nature take it's course! Take a walk, a bath, have a glass of wine, etc., etc. I got it.

Please understand, I do not wish anything ill to happen to my baby, he can and will cook until he's ready. I am not complaining out of dislike of pregnancy, matter of fact I will miss being pregnant shortly after I give birth! It is a most sacred time, no one else can feel what you feel when you get kicked in the liver or the little one has hiccups. Your body does the most amazing things in pregnancy and in a matter of hours it will evict the nine months of hard work into the world only to go back to it's original state in a matter of weeks or months. Pretty freaking cool if you ask me. And, really, most of my frustration is because I just want to meet the little guy! Ok, being able to bend over would also be a nice perk. So as to avoid ranting again I won't post again til I give birth. Until then I will just:


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Preparing For a Home Birth

I am planning my second home birth. When I planned and prepared last time I thought I had it down to a science. Well, I was only 21! Three years and a whole lot of humbling life later and I have kind of come down off the birthing high horse. A lot of this has to do with the birth experience that I had with my daughter (which you can read about here). While I was very open minded to just letting the process unfold on it's own I was completely unprepared for its entirely in every way but having the supplies ready. I had a very long active phase, unusually long pushing phase and finished it off with an ambulance ride to retrieve my stupid stuck placenta (anyone else heard of a chorion accreta?). While my birth was beautiful in it's own way, we really didn't plan for the 'what ifs' or even stick to what few things were on my birth plan. Really. No music, no massage or other comfort measures, no walks. Partly this was just how I was feeling. After laboring all day (early labor), once I entered real active labor late in the afternoon I just withdrew into myself and didn't really know how to communicate or let anyone try to help me. I was hard to read and because of this I ended up laboring much longer than necessary. It wasn't awful, but looking back it was kind of a hot mess! Yet at the same time it was birth in it's most simple form (minus the placenta thing). I will go over both how I physically prepare and how I am preparing my birth team to best support me through this labor.

The first thing you need (besides an awesome midwife) is a place to birth in. A home birth seems pretty self explanatory but take some time to find where you gravitate to when you are stressed in need of comfort. For me it's my bedroom, for others it may be their living room or even somewhere outside like a porch. While it is good to have this place in your mind's eye, be open to this location changing while in labor (you wouldn't believe how many babies are born on toilets!). After you have decided on your birthing room there are some things you will want to do to make it ready:

-Clean. While you will want to do a good deep clean (or have a friend/ family member do it for you) around 37 weeks of your whole house, there are some special considerations for your birth room I have found promote a more peaceful environment. The first thing I started to do is organize and clear out any clutter or storage that is not essential. In my case I have a basement at my new house in which to store all that I am clearing out, but others can either just brutally purge, make use of storage in a room you don't use much or at the least clean out a closet and use that. Clutter has been proven to induce stress and even sleeping disorders and it also just makes your room harder to keep clean. After you organize, do an extra good cleaning and maintain it with touch ups until birth. For me this has been moving furniture to get dust bunnies of gross proportions, washing my window, vacuuming extra extra well, and wiping down my walls for cobwebs and smudges. The second room I highly recommend making an extra effort in is the bathroom(s). Not only will you be in it a lot but your birth team will be needing potty breaks too! Really get your tub and shower clean in case you labor in them and remember to wash the floor and toilet good because most mamas end up throwing up at some point.

-Gather your supplies. Your midwife will give you a list of supplies or instructions to order a pre-made birth kit from a supplies company that will contain all of the 'medical' items. You will likely also be given a list of 'household' items to collect. Here is what mine is:

2 sets of old sheets
cheap plastic shower curtain
4 towels
8 washcloths
3-4 baby hats
newborn outfit and diaper
8 receiving blankets
new roll of paper towels
roll of toilet paper
3 trash bags
small bottle of olive oil (unopened)
thermometer
flashlight with fresh batteries
heating pad
crock pot
large cookie sheet or tray
2 large stainless steel bowls
package of maxi pads
baby carseat (installed in your car)
honey sticks*
Larabars*
Vitamin Water*
instruction sheet for Montana Man and in case of emergency*
nursing tank and pads*
camera with fresh batteries and extras*

(* items that are my own additions)

During labor and birth items

Baby's first outfit. All the extra hats are for when the first few get birth 'stuff' on them!

Something for me to wear right after as well as things I will need in the following week.

All of this and my midwives' medical kit are packed neatly into a tote. If you are packing in a tote it's a good idea to put things you will need first on top like your sheets and plastic shower curtain because you will need to make up your bed as soon as you go into labor. After that you can either slowly layout things if your labor is still mild or leave it to an attendant. It's a good idea to scope out a good flat surface in your birthing room for everything to be laid out, mine is a large bedside table and the cookie sheet that can follow me around. The midwives also bring a few bags of their own things and an oxygen tank.

A nice and appreciated touch in case you have a long labor is little thank you kits for your attendants. I am hoping to have things gathered like Larabars, single wrapped facial cleansing towelettes, lip balm, something to freshen breath, etc. As someone who has attended a long birth that ended the next morning, I know how much you need a freshening and pick me up after hours of serving the mama. Might not be a bad idea to also keep your towels clean in case your midwives want a shower before rushing off to another birth or going home to crash.

Make a simple plan and put it on the fridge. Trust me, if you write out even an elaborate birth plan and don't put it somewhere obvious, in the throws of labor you and your partner will completely forget. We did last time! Even if you want to keep it super organic and just go with the flow, think about practical things that your brain won't while in labor land. Like, if you go into labor in the middle of the night... unlock the front door so your birth team can just come right in. Other things to consider might be checking animals are fed and watered, the clothes washer is empty, you have toilet paper, you have snacks. These are things you think you will just remember but trust me, you won't. Let your list speak for you! Attendants will appreciate a "go to" when you are busy with contractions.

Have a meal plan! Please, please, please, think about this ahead of time. Whatever you would feel like eating after, say, the stomach flu is most likely what you will want to eat after birth. And, trust me, no meal will ever taste so good after you pushed your child into the world! I personally like breakfast food and will be preparing waffles that can be heated up in the toaster. After you think of what you want to eat, think of an easy meal to put in the crock pot or in the oven when labor starts or shortly after for everyone else. Check with your midwives ahead of time for allergies or preferences and go with a simple something. Keep ingredients either in the fridge or all made in the freezer so someone else can take care of it with written instructions. Having simple snacks like fruit, canned soup, crackers and cheese and nuts are also nice for quick fuel ups either for mama or birth team.

Ok, you might be reading this and be a little annoyed about how focused I am on preparing for the birth team... I mean they can just fend for themselves right? Yes and not so fast. Unlike at a hospital your midwife has no idea when she will be attending a birth and sometimes she will be going straight from one birth to another with no time to restock her own care kit. Sure, you are paying her for a service but I would hope you would see her as a friend coming into your home. With a little thought and preparation ahead of time you can create an awesome birthing environment not just for you but everyone there to serve you.

Yes, the changing table really does hold everything the little guy needs! Clothes, cloth and disposable diapers, blankets, etc. Everything is washed and put away.

Two 'luxury' items I love for a newborn: a co-sleeping bed for between the pillows in the big bed and my Boppy pillow.
And, last but not least, enjoy this preparation and adopt a positive attitude! Generations of women have prepared for their births and newborns with glad hearts and anticipation. As a few of us bring back 'the old ways' lets also bring back the old attitude that children are both a blessing and worth celebrating and show others that is how we feel. Show appreciation for those supporting you and their heart will be that much more giving in return. One of the things that always stayed with me from reading Spiritual Midwifery was how Ina May talked about the mother's attitude during labor and how it effected everyone else. It's hard to want to be kind and supportive to a negative and whiny person despite whether they are a laboring mom or not. Be open about your fears in the weeks before and during birth. If the pain is overwhelming you, just say so! But, honestly, I found I was so much stronger in my long labor by not allowing myself to say anything negative even in my head. Because of that I never felt like it was beyond my capacity. It was pain yes, but it had a rhythm which I learned well. Embracing your birth story as it happens is something no one else can do but you.