Me and My Baby Weight

What new mom doesn't talk about their baby weight? We're women, we talk about everything. But, how many of those new moms are just glowing and back in their skinny jeans in a matter of a couple months? Not really any I know. So, here I am coming up on the 3 month mark with my little Happy Boy and except for the 30 pounds I lost in the two weeks after his birth I have lost nothing. In fact I even gained back a couple. After I had Mini Me I had obviously never had a postpartum body before and much to my disappointment nothing went back to how I remembered! Despite breastfeeding exclusively and eating fairly well I was stuck at a rather uncomfortable 180 pounds on my 5' 7" frame. After Mini weaned herself at 10 months I finally found my will power and started to lose the weight by cutting out all gluten and sugar as well as walking faithfully. In about 6 months I was down to 155, 10 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight.

This time around I would like to try losing all my pregnancy weight plus about 10 pounds like last time but while breastfeeding. My supply seems to be much less finicky than before so I am feeling confident I will be able to accomplish my goal without effecting it. I certainly have enough fat to fuel production! But, I have more than just weight loss as my goal. I would like to...


Increase my energy. This is probably even more important to me than the weight loss. I have really struggled this time with fatigue and constant ups and downs. My mood has not been awful but it certainly has not been as even as I'd like it to be. So I would like to find a natural way to get some decent energy! Right now I am a major coffee drinker (BAD!!!) and sugar eater (WORSE!!!). Combine these and no wonder I have this issue.


Slowly detox. Now, before you jump on me about how I'm going to dump a bunch of toxins into my milk let me just say that I have concluded through research that I can absolutely detox without it effecting my milk. Done slowly and carefully detoxing can help jump start a very tired and overloaded body which is precisely what I have! Mainly I will be reducing the toxin intake and increasing toxin elimination by eating whole, unprocessed foods, drinking lots of water, drinking supporting herbal teas like milk thistle and trying out some gelatinous foods like chia seeds.


Regain my clear skin. Before having Happy Boy my skin looked great! Now it's dull and I'm getting breakouts! Enough said.


So, the big picture is I would like to regain my health and continue to breastfeed while doing it. It's going to be hard but when I think of how good I will feel again it's motivation for sure. I will elaborate more on the actual weight loss once I start losing some!

Til next time.

My Son's Birth Story

When you have only had one birth I think most will just assume the next will be somewhat like the first. I had hoped it would be quite different because laboring for over 24 hours is not exactly on my top ten list, but I had reservations that it was going to be much shorter. I also had expected to have him well before my due date like my daughter. From start to finish God has used this precious little one to show me that my plans and assumptions are insignificant and futile. He blessed me in innumerable ways and showed me that trusting Him was more important that trusting me. That being said let's get to the juicy details!

So, when I posted about being overdue I was only 3 days past at that point. I figured I was only a few more days away, foolishly. Because of my ginormous state and impending birth at any moment my husband decided because work was a little scarce that week he would stay home with me and work on the house as well as help me rest until I did indeed go into labor. On Tuesday I saw one of my midwives, Lindsay, and had her strip my membranes (which didn't really do much unfortunately). So we passed the days that week enjoying having each others company, going to breakfast one morning at a really neat vintage diner, watching movies at night and waiting for those darn contractions to take the shape of real labor. Thursday night we and my parents went to the county fair a few towns away. While there I tried to keep up with everyone and just walked right through most of the contractions I was having about every 10 to 15 minutes. I knew they weren't the real thing but a few were fairly "ouchy". I even wore my two year old daughter on my back for about an hour in the Ergo! By the time we went home my body was tired and I suddenly was glad that I was not in labor ;-)

Friday I had another day like a few weeks ago with spells of regular and then irregular contractions that ended when I went to bed. Discouraged I sent a text to my midwife Robin (who was on call) the next morning "Just another round of false." She encouraged me telling me it was just shaving time of my real labor. I was doubtful because I had checked myself that day (yes, I am one of those ladies!) and everything was the same as it had been for 6 weeks. I think if I have another pregnancy I will refrain from that practice because it really means nothing in hindsight!

All day Saturday I had a impulsion to be alone with Montana Man and go to the ocean. It was a weird 'craving' of sorts but my mom was willing to keep the kiddos so later in the evening we set off for a small beach about 45 minutes away. We stopped for some sandwiches on the way (and might I say that standard booths at that sandwich shop are not made for women that pregnant?) and by the time we got to the beach it was dark. The tide was at its lowest so we had to walk quite away from shore to find the water. It was beautiful with a huge orange crescent moon and a deserted expanse of smooth sand. We stood in the water only up to our ankles until they were numb from the cold and then started to walk back to the car. Of course once back to the car it took me a minute to get in because of a contraction and I had them all the way home. The stopped a bit before bed, again (can you see the pattern?).

Sunday! It's got to be today right? Contractions started up around 7:30, this time regular at 5 minutes apart and a bit more intense. With walking they were about 2-4 minutes and stronger but went back to 5 and easy once I stopped. Fed up and sleepy I laid down for a rest around 3:00 and slept til about 5:00. Contractions were quiet. MM suggested we go out for supper and a little reluctantly I agreed. It was just what I needed though. The kids had a great time and I was so glad we had that special time just the four of us! I was feeling pretty uncomfortable so I had told MM I didn't think I was going to be able to finish my meal after those hot wings! But, I did. He kind of smirked at me across the table like he knew something I didn't. Have I ever told you he has an amazing intuition? (A few days after the birth he told me he knew it was going to be the next day cause I took a long nap and was eating a ton, fueling up for the action! And, I was grumpy.) On the way home we stopped and got a couple movies. I finished both but hubby fell asleep during the last one. I decided not to wake him when I went to bed because I tossed and turned so much I knew he would sleep better where he was. Eventually he woke up around 5:00 am and crawled in bed with me.

Monday. Around 7:05 I woke up to a different contraction. This one was in my back even more than they had been and really crampy. I looked at my phone to see the time and then went back to sleep. Another one woke me up and looking at the time it had been 10 minutes. Ok... back to sleep. 10 minutes later, same thing but this one made me need to rock on my side a bit and hum at the peak. I thought, ok, if I have another one in 10 minutes I will get up and see if they change. Well I had another one in 10 minutes at 7:45. Once it was over I started to move to get up and I gushed! Startled for a second I then whacked Montana Man on the arm and told him my water just broke! I told him to grab me a towel so I could make it to the bathroom without soaking everything. Sure enough as soon as a stood I was soaked. In the bathroom I discovered another long awaited sign of labor, bloody show! Finally! I gave Kyle instructions from my throne (aka the toilet) to call my mom and see where she was. She was at the dentist getting her teeth cleaned! So, she would be back in about an hour or so. After accomplishing all my business in the bathroom and finding one of the postpartum pads to catch the fluid I started timing the now much more frequent and strong contractions that were making me hum and move through each. To my surprise they were only 2 minutes apart! Finally my brain caught up and I thought to call my midwife Robin (duh). She would be on her way after she got her kids off to school. A few minutes later she texted to say she was on her way but in the rush hour traffic so Brenda (another midwife in the practice) would be getting to me first just in case. I texted back saying they were already 1-2 minutes apart (no joke, MM was timing them for me) and getting harder but I was ok. I was on my knees leaning onto my rocking chair so I could rock with each one. I had to get up and go get another pad after a bit because I leaked trough the first already. So I walked around for a bit stopping to lean on something every couple of minutes.

Mom got back around 8:45 and shortly after Brenda arrived at 9:00. She checked his heartbeat and he sounded great. Not much later Robin got there followed close behind by Lindsay. Brenda said goodbye and went back home since she wasn't on call (she was just the closest at the time, I was glad to see her for a few minutes though!). I had texted my friends Lara and Megan who were my planning to be my other supports and they graciously rearranged their schedules best the could to be there as soon as possible. In the mean time I just labored away! I went from hands and knees leaning over a sleeping bag on my bed to sitting up and resting leaning back in between. I was most comfortable sitting that way with a heat pack on my lower back. Baby was moving quite a bit and we were having a hard time figuring out what position he was in but because of how I was laboring I'm sure we were all thinking posterior or close to it.

At 10:30 they took my vitals and after a little while I said I felt like moving but I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do. I was reaching the point where I knew moving a lot would be the best but having a hard time leaving my "comfortable spot". Finally I just switched back to hands and knees over my sleeping bag. Each time I got back in that position the pressure I was feeling lessened but the contractions got much stronger and closer together. Around this time MM got his laptop and tracked all my contractions with an app he downloaded. I kind of laughed and said it didn't really matter cause I was obviously in active labor! But, it gave him something do and feel useful as the woman that had gathered around me helped me focus and relax through each wave. By now Lara and Megan had arrived (I'm pretty sure? Lol!). I only rode out 3 or 4 contractions like I was before I was encouraged to try getting in the shower. Montana Man just hung out in the bathroom with me and he easily continued to track each wave as I am not a quiet birther. The shower really didn't do much for me so I got out after about 20 minutes. I asked to be checked once I returned to my room and I was so glad to hear I was a stretchy 5 cm and 90% effaced. Half way! From this point until about 3:00 I would mainly labor sitting in my comfy spot but every 20-30 minutes do a few contractions standing, hands and knees, or on the toilet dry heaving and shaking occasionally which made me thing I was close to or in transition. The intensity in those positions kept freaking me out but I wasn't about to admit that! At 3:15 I had Lindsay check me again and I was only 6 cm and still 90%. I was really discouraged and knew I needed to let my body stop trying to be as comfortable as possible and give in to the intensity. I wasn't tensing during contractions but I wasn't truly working with them either. I lay on my right side for a bit which upped the intensity and then went straight to the sleeping bag again. One last break in the comfy spot and I did what everyone wanted... I got up and walked.

Well it worked! Some how almost and hour passed with me walking and kneeling over the back of the couch so I could keep my weight forward hoping the little guy would turn. It was pretty obvious I was entering transition for real now because the waves were taking all my strength not to lose it now. I remember the last 20 minutes perfectly. I had an insanely strong contraction while standing holding on to MM. Then I had two more like it leaning over the couch and feeling a bit of pressure. I looked at Lara (who had left to take a test but came back!) and said I though I would be pushing soon. I sat in the rocking chair for a couple contractions to catch my breath and mentally try to prepare myself for the next stage. Back kneeling on the couch leaning on the back of it I had another really strong contraction and felt the baby move and rotate. When the next contraction started I felt him drop down and I was pushing full force with no control. I just yelled "He's coming!" and everyone ran! Lindsay managed to wrestle me out of my underwear while everyone else ran to the living room with all the supplies. Robin and Lindsay shoved chux pads under me as I got down on the floor. All this time I am pushing with no control whatsoever! MM was sitting on the couch in front of me and I just gripped and pressed my forehead into his arm like I was trying to hold on to him for some kind of anchor. Finally the contraction let up and I caught my breath. Not for long though and as I pushed again his head started to crown and was born. Lindsay unwrapped the cord that was loosely around his neck twice and I tried to push his body out. He wasn't budging or rotating. The contraction ended but I kept pushing praying he would just pop free any second. Robin and Lindsay had me step my right leg up and Lindsay reached a hand in and worked on getting his shoulder and arm free. They had me stand which brought on another contraction and finally, at 4:53 pm, I was able to push him out! I looked down and there he was! He was still and a bit floppy but after a few puffs from the bag he drew a breath and cried! Once he was breathing the handed him to me and I kind of pitifully looked for a place to sit down. Thankfully we had the birth stool in the house so I had a seat in no time and after a couple minutes I was able to deliver the placenta with no problems (Thank You Lord!). From me yelling that he was coming to this point it had only been 15 minutes, second and third stage done and done. I had not expected that!

I got laid down on the couch and they checked my vitals and the like. Little man needed some blow by oxygen for the first half hour or so and Robin held him belly down across her arm patting his back a few times to help him expel the fluid still in his lungs. After about an hour he was much improved. I nursed him for a bit and then he went to his daddy while I got cleaned up and they checked for tears back in my bedroom. Amazingly despite his size and having my midwife's hand way up there, I had only a couple tiny 'skid marks' at the top and bottom. I think we were all pretty amazed! When we weighed and measure him he was 9 pounds 7 ounces and 22 inches long! I hadn't expected him to be so large! After I got him latched on again I got to have a tour of my placenta which I was quite happy to get to do this time. It's now in my freezer waiting for a tree :-) Lara and Megan headed home after a bit to get back to their own kiddos, I was so thankful they were able to be there! Robin and Lindsay finished charting and doing last checks on me and baby and then went home also. After the kids went to bed Montana Man and I finally got to rest a bit and we spent the first night on the couch admiring the new little one that we had waited for.

He is Here!

After waiting and waiting our new little man finally made his appearance 12 days past his due date on Monday the 29th at 4:53 pm. I will post his birth story soon but the short story is I woke up, water broke, labored for about 9.5 hours and pushed for 9 minutes. He weighted in at 9 pounds 7 ounces and 22 inches long! What a chunk! It was a wonderful and wild home birth surrounded by an amazing group of loved support people. We are both doing well and I am looking forward to getting back to feeling normal!

And the Due Date Passes...

Yup. I was due the 17th. To say I am surprised would be an understatement. After trying to hold him in for a couple of months fearing he would be born pre-term now I can't seem to get him to get out! So how am I doing? Well, besides going through a couple of massive emotional ups and downs (think crying for entire days and then happily cleaning the house for hours), not that bad. Only in the last couple of days have I become uncomfortable and moving around is getting to be a challenge. I'm not really that much bigger but all my joints are either loose or cramping up so getting off the couch or rolling over is both a chore and not pretty to behold. All in perspective though I am doing great for this stage of pregnancy.

Now, let me clarify something. I am not 'post dates' I am 'late term'. A term pregnancy comes in three phases: 37 weeks= early term, 38-40= full term, 40-42= late term. Anything after 42 weeks is then considered post dates and requires closer monitoring by your practitioner. Even after going past 42 weeks there is not necessarily any reason not to let the pregnancy to continue unless mom or baby are showing signs of distress. The fact that most OB's now make it common practice to induce by 41 weeks is not only needless but also is contributing to the high c-section rate and NICU admittance. Inductions are hard on mom but are far more hard on baby who is no longer in control of the birth. Yes, really. Babies are not just a helpless being being shoved out of your body, they work just as hard to be born as you do by positioning, releasing hormones to regulate the intensity and enduring your contractions (ever had a python give you a squeeze?). Reading this article really reminded me how waiting for my baby to start his labor was the right thing to do. Not that there was much I could do but after almost a week of using homeopathy to kick things into gear with no luck I have decided to give it up. I am not eating weird stuff or walking miles and miles, making my husband 'spend time' with me or getting my membranes stripped (although I might consider it next week if still no baby). All the natural induction things you can come up with on google are only effective if your are about to go into labor anyway. I understand from an impatient stand point why women jump at the offer to be induced, but I still don't think it's right unless for health reasons beyond swollen feet and achy hips.

So I have been cooking like a crazy person, keeping the house clean, got my hair cut, walked with a friend, spent time with my kiddos and puttered in the barnyard. The greenhouse has been closed up. Nothing left to do but keep waiting. And, I really can't think of anything better to wait for.

Waiting Out Baby (Im)Patiently

WARNING: I am going to talk about 'woman stuff' so if you are squeemish please exit now.

There is a song called Tick Tick Boom by The Hives. I feel that song. Well, at least the chorus. Stupidly I thought this being pregnancy number two I would have more patience... let nature just unfold. Nature is a cruel mistress and my body just loves to screw with my head. Not only did I start having Braxton Hicks contractions at 14 weeks but I also started to show real signs of labor at 33 weeks by losing my mucus plug and discovering I was already 50% effaced and 1 cm. Now I have daily rounds of stronger contractions that always lead to nowhere and the baby dropped about 5 days ago (while I was walking in a store no less) and I have swelled up in the past couple days which caught me by surprise and my poor wedding band paid the price. I have nested about as much as I can, I don't think I have ever kept the laundry this ahead ever! My room is spotless, birth kit sitting ready to be pulled out at a moments notice. I have rested, I have kept busy, I have bounced on the ball, walked through the mall pushing a stroller, lifted heavy stuff, cleaned, worked on a puzzle, gone to bed early, googled labor signs 1000 times (funny they always stay the same!). Seriously, I feel the madness starting. Sure, I can reason that my efforts are futile, the little booger will come when he gosh darn pleases. But, really? Why does my body need to tease me with being ridiculously ready for labor without actually going into labor? Yes, my due date is 3 weeks away... see my point! It's like packing for a trip 3 weeks in advance, dumb and frustrating cause you have to wait and stare at those bags.

Now, if I were a midwife I would just say that my body just likes to prepare early, relax and just let nature take it's course! Take a walk, a bath, have a glass of wine, etc., etc. I got it.

Please understand, I do not wish anything ill to happen to my baby, he can and will cook until he's ready. I am not complaining out of dislike of pregnancy, matter of fact I will miss being pregnant shortly after I give birth! It is a most sacred time, no one else can feel what you feel when you get kicked in the liver or the little one has hiccups. Your body does the most amazing things in pregnancy and in a matter of hours it will evict the nine months of hard work into the world only to go back to it's original state in a matter of weeks or months. Pretty freaking cool if you ask me. And, really, most of my frustration is because I just want to meet the little guy! Ok, being able to bend over would also be a nice perk. So as to avoid ranting again I won't post again til I give birth. Until then I will just:


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Preparing For a Home Birth

I am planning my second home birth. When I planned and prepared last time I thought I had it down to a science. Well, I was only 21! Three years and a whole lot of humbling life later and I have kind of come down off the birthing high horse. A lot of this has to do with the birth experience that I had with my daughter (which you can read about here). While I was very open minded to just letting the process unfold on it's own I was completely unprepared for its entirely in every way but having the supplies ready. I had a very long active phase, unusually long pushing phase and finished it off with an ambulance ride to retrieve my stupid stuck placenta (anyone else heard of a chorion accreta?). While my birth was beautiful in it's own way, we really didn't plan for the 'what ifs' or even stick to what few things were on my birth plan. Really. No music, no massage or other comfort measures, no walks. Partly this was just how I was feeling. After laboring all day (early labor), once I entered real active labor late in the afternoon I just withdrew into myself and didn't really know how to communicate or let anyone try to help me. I was hard to read and because of this I ended up laboring much longer than necessary. It wasn't awful, but looking back it was kind of a hot mess! Yet at the same time it was birth in it's most simple form (minus the placenta thing). I will go over both how I physically prepare and how I am preparing my birth team to best support me through this labor.

The first thing you need (besides an awesome midwife) is a place to birth in. A home birth seems pretty self explanatory but take some time to find where you gravitate to when you are stressed in need of comfort. For me it's my bedroom, for others it may be their living room or even somewhere outside like a porch. While it is good to have this place in your mind's eye, be open to this location changing while in labor (you wouldn't believe how many babies are born on toilets!). After you have decided on your birthing room there are some things you will want to do to make it ready:

-Clean. While you will want to do a good deep clean (or have a friend/ family member do it for you) around 37 weeks of your whole house, there are some special considerations for your birth room I have found promote a more peaceful environment. The first thing I started to do is organize and clear out any clutter or storage that is not essential. In my case I have a basement at my new house in which to store all that I am clearing out, but others can either just brutally purge, make use of storage in a room you don't use much or at the least clean out a closet and use that. Clutter has been proven to induce stress and even sleeping disorders and it also just makes your room harder to keep clean. After you organize, do an extra good cleaning and maintain it with touch ups until birth. For me this has been moving furniture to get dust bunnies of gross proportions, washing my window, vacuuming extra extra well, and wiping down my walls for cobwebs and smudges. The second room I highly recommend making an extra effort in is the bathroom(s). Not only will you be in it a lot but your birth team will be needing potty breaks too! Really get your tub and shower clean in case you labor in them and remember to wash the floor and toilet good because most mamas end up throwing up at some point.

-Gather your supplies. Your midwife will give you a list of supplies or instructions to order a pre-made birth kit from a supplies company that will contain all of the 'medical' items. You will likely also be given a list of 'household' items to collect. Here is what mine is:

2 sets of old sheets
cheap plastic shower curtain
4 towels
8 washcloths
3-4 baby hats
newborn outfit and diaper
8 receiving blankets
new roll of paper towels
roll of toilet paper
3 trash bags
small bottle of olive oil (unopened)
thermometer
flashlight with fresh batteries
heating pad
crock pot
large cookie sheet or tray
2 large stainless steel bowls
package of maxi pads
baby carseat (installed in your car)
honey sticks*
Larabars*
Vitamin Water*
instruction sheet for Montana Man and in case of emergency*
nursing tank and pads*
camera with fresh batteries and extras*

(* items that are my own additions)

During labor and birth items

Baby's first outfit. All the extra hats are for when the first few get birth 'stuff' on them!

Something for me to wear right after as well as things I will need in the following week.

All of this and my midwives' medical kit are packed neatly into a tote. If you are packing in a tote it's a good idea to put things you will need first on top like your sheets and plastic shower curtain because you will need to make up your bed as soon as you go into labor. After that you can either slowly layout things if your labor is still mild or leave it to an attendant. It's a good idea to scope out a good flat surface in your birthing room for everything to be laid out, mine is a large bedside table and the cookie sheet that can follow me around. The midwives also bring a few bags of their own things and an oxygen tank.

A nice and appreciated touch in case you have a long labor is little thank you kits for your attendants. I am hoping to have things gathered like Larabars, single wrapped facial cleansing towelettes, lip balm, something to freshen breath, etc. As someone who has attended a long birth that ended the next morning, I know how much you need a freshening and pick me up after hours of serving the mama. Might not be a bad idea to also keep your towels clean in case your midwives want a shower before rushing off to another birth or going home to crash.

Make a simple plan and put it on the fridge. Trust me, if you write out even an elaborate birth plan and don't put it somewhere obvious, in the throws of labor you and your partner will completely forget. We did last time! Even if you want to keep it super organic and just go with the flow, think about practical things that your brain won't while in labor land. Like, if you go into labor in the middle of the night... unlock the front door so your birth team can just come right in. Other things to consider might be checking animals are fed and watered, the clothes washer is empty, you have toilet paper, you have snacks. These are things you think you will just remember but trust me, you won't. Let your list speak for you! Attendants will appreciate a "go to" when you are busy with contractions.

Have a meal plan! Please, please, please, think about this ahead of time. Whatever you would feel like eating after, say, the stomach flu is most likely what you will want to eat after birth. And, trust me, no meal will ever taste so good after you pushed your child into the world! I personally like breakfast food and will be preparing waffles that can be heated up in the toaster. After you think of what you want to eat, think of an easy meal to put in the crock pot or in the oven when labor starts or shortly after for everyone else. Check with your midwives ahead of time for allergies or preferences and go with a simple something. Keep ingredients either in the fridge or all made in the freezer so someone else can take care of it with written instructions. Having simple snacks like fruit, canned soup, crackers and cheese and nuts are also nice for quick fuel ups either for mama or birth team.

Ok, you might be reading this and be a little annoyed about how focused I am on preparing for the birth team... I mean they can just fend for themselves right? Yes and not so fast. Unlike at a hospital your midwife has no idea when she will be attending a birth and sometimes she will be going straight from one birth to another with no time to restock her own care kit. Sure, you are paying her for a service but I would hope you would see her as a friend coming into your home. With a little thought and preparation ahead of time you can create an awesome birthing environment not just for you but everyone there to serve you.

Yes, the changing table really does hold everything the little guy needs! Clothes, cloth and disposable diapers, blankets, etc. Everything is washed and put away.

Two 'luxury' items I love for a newborn: a co-sleeping bed for between the pillows in the big bed and my Boppy pillow.
And, last but not least, enjoy this preparation and adopt a positive attitude! Generations of women have prepared for their births and newborns with glad hearts and anticipation. As a few of us bring back 'the old ways' lets also bring back the old attitude that children are both a blessing and worth celebrating and show others that is how we feel. Show appreciation for those supporting you and their heart will be that much more giving in return. One of the things that always stayed with me from reading Spiritual Midwifery was how Ina May talked about the mother's attitude during labor and how it effected everyone else. It's hard to want to be kind and supportive to a negative and whiny person despite whether they are a laboring mom or not. Be open about your fears in the weeks before and during birth. If the pain is overwhelming you, just say so! But, honestly, I found I was so much stronger in my long labor by not allowing myself to say anything negative even in my head. Because of that I never felt like it was beyond my capacity. It was pain yes, but it had a rhythm which I learned well. Embracing your birth story as it happens is something no one else can do but you.

It's August? Already?

It seems it's been a few weeks! I was on a good roll of weekly or more postings but as I expected, I ran into a lack of motivation and brain power to keep up my pace. At this point the days are going so fast I am having a hard time remembering what day it is, it all runs together in my world! Thank goodness for calendars. In order not to bore you I will just post some pictures and give a summary of the madness that is my life.

Eighth month belly
I am 33 weeks and now see my midwives every 2 weeks and just had a prenatal last Wednesday. Baby is head down now but is favoring being posterior at the moment so I am trying to remember to lay on my left side to encourage him to lay on my left side too. Being posterior means that he is facing forward and has his back pressed against mine. While this is not a problem for us right now, in labor it can create quite a lot of unpleasant things like back labor (think of having a bowling ball being pressed with unnatural force against your tail bone from the inside, it hurts like nothing else), a slower labor and much more effort in pushing. Posterior isn't dangerous or really "bad" but it is nothing us mom's who forgo pain medication want to experience! So I am praying and working on getting him to cooperate. Other than that I am measuring right on track, no major things to complain about and am generally functioning a lot better than I expected for this far along. Only about 4-7 weeks to go! I will be doing a post on how I am preparing for my second home birth and what my hopes are for Labor Day (not the holiday, the one where I give birth silly).

This one Rutgers is loaded! The other is catching up.
The garden I have kind of slowed down with. Everything is growing but I badly needed to do some maintenance including a good dose of watering for the indoor plants. All the potted plants outside are getting regular water with the plethora of rain storms and showers we have had but I have neglected the indoor plants a little in the past couple weeks. Everything needs a fresh dose of liquid fertilizer and inside needs a good soaking. I am harvesting a few beautiful ripe Glacier tomatoes now as well as Northeaster pole beans, all my carrots were pulled this last week (I chose to harvest them at what I call the finger size), Swiss chard is still cranking out 1-2 full cuttings a week and the leaf beet really needs a good harvest. Cucumbers are thriving and should be giving us fruits to pick by mid to late this month. My onions are going to be a bitter disappointment this year I am afraid, my fault as they have not had enough full sun to bulb properly. Some have made tiny bulbs about the size of a large marble but most are still strait and no thicker than a fat pensils.

Glaciers

San Diego Pastes
The chicks are 8 weeks old now and are growing like crazy. Most of them have successfully feathered out completely but there are a few that are struggling with this and look a little like awkward teens. I lost two of my Buff Rocks to a mystery ailment that involved a swollen or blocked up sack in their necks, fluffed feathers and sleepiness. They died within 3 days of first symptoms. I have no idea if this was a contagious illness or it was merely a coincidence but they died within a week of each other. None others so far have seemed to come down with what ever it is. One of my Partridge Cochins was damaged either during sorting or shipping from the hatchery and has a malformed leg. Because of this she was being picked on badly as well as my little rare breed Silver Polish who both ended up with open wounds. I separated them from the rest of the flock and since then with more attention to entertainment, I have not had anymore bad pecking problems. I will keep 'Gimpy' and 'Weirdo' in their own space until most of the roosters have gone to the butcher. I will send them by breed not only to make it more manageable money wise (30 birds would cost about $90 all at once) but also so I can keep track of what breeds preformed the best in meat production. The Light Brahmas will likely be the first batch as they are the largest and most in numbers (which I won't do until after I have recovered fully from birth). I will be extremely thankful when we have a freezer full of organic homegrown meat again!

The barn is kind of a mad house
And, last but not least, the house. We have been approved for a construction loan! Thank you and praise to Jesus! While we have a bit of a process to complete until closing, we will be closing hopefully sometime in September and getting back on the fast track. Obviously this means we will not be in our house before the baby comes but we should have the ok to move in before Thanksgiving or sooner depending on... well it's construction so everything! I do see why people who have the means hire crews to build their house! Building it yourself takes about four times as long. But, at the end of this we get to live in a house where we are reminded of the achievement everyday and for what most people pay for a tiny fixer-upper. The best part is we have designed it to be exactly what we want and to be low cost in utilities, a blessing beyond words here in Maine.

I plan on finishing up some more projects in my room and then I will do that home birth prep post!

Til next time.

Building a House While Pregnant: This Mama's Experience

Disclosure: I'm going to get real and be a little vulnerable here for a minute, so be nice if you comment.

After googling this subject and coming up with squat I figured maybe that's because most people aren't crazy enough to do it. And, had I seen how long this was going to be taking, I would have done it differently too. Blame my hormones, my husband's encouragement, God's command, the excitement of having a new little one... blame ME. Yes, I am saying that this is not what I pictured. Does that mean I am not thrilled to be having this little boy? Not at all! I couldn't be more happy, but it does mean I don't always feel like I can express that happiness. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I didn't even want to tell anyone because I just didn't want to hear it. Quite honestly I had foolishly thought it would have taken awhile longer to get pregnant and my due date wouldn't have been an issue to our timeline. Not the case and moving on! So, now I am seven month pregnant and staring down my due month like a deer in the headlights. Let me tell you, I have never felt so much stress, pressure and out of control in my life. I could rattle off a laundry list of things that stress me out (read haunt me) daily regardless, but this takes the cake.

First off, I birth my babies at home. At HOME. My home is not done. I currently have no place to give birth. Make this my number one stress.

I have a ton of crap I have moved about a half a dozen times in the last six years and a lot of it I don't even know where it is or that it even exists until I open mystery box number 27. I am not usually a terribly disheveled person, I like to be fairly organized but after you pack and re-pack and re-pack and re-pack you start to just not even bother to unpack any thing but the necessaries. They are just things but not having your things just makes you feel like you don't belong where you are. And, really we don't belong here. My parent's home stopped being mine the day I got married and I have felt an underlying level of guilt and failure since the day we moved back here. Now that our basement is finished enough, I have begun to wade through all our belongings in the basement of my parents house and will soon do the same with the ones in our horse trailer. This I hate. I will love having it be finished, but it is a lot of work and requires me to make a mess in order to accomplish it. I started with the easy and kind of fun stuff: baby things. I am almost done with prepping the baby's needs so soon I will move on to everything else and possibly I will have enough to do a yard sale.

Montana Man and I see very little of each other. This makes me sad. He works all week and then is at the house all weekend. I see him in snippets but it's not the same as being able to spend a whole day together as a family. I am so proud of the work he is doing and his provision for us. This is hard though. Both of us are stressed and exhausted at the end of each day and our marriage is kind of just an after thought right now. We are parenting fine together, but I miss closeness and love. We talk about financing, carpentry, how much time we have left, how much work he will have this week, what's next on the list of to dos. As an emotional and hormonal pregnant lady, this is second in line for stress. I'm trying not to let this bother me so much so that I don't put any more pressure on MM, but lately I have been struggling with it and I'm starting to get depressed.

I am starting to have a hard time keeping up with normal everyday life. I'm bigger, I'm tired and my two little energizer bunnies are running me ragged physically and emotionally. My mom helped me so much yesterday and I am so grateful for her! But, I hate needing help! I just feel guilty that I can't do it all and worry that I am being a burden to those that are helping me. To be honest, yesterday was half physically exhausted and half depressed. Ugh, so frustrating! My children are my life pretty much and to feel like I am failing at that just reinforces my guilt.

One thing that surprises me is that I do not have any fear about mothering three children once I have the baby. Praise be to God, I do not stress about that! In fact, I feel quite peaceful about it. Check one for the positive list!

I'm not writing this post to have anyone pity me and I hope no one will judge me harshly! I am writing this because I am so sick of people just covering up what life really is like! Everyone's got something! I will not feel these things once we are moved in and once the baby is here, but that doesn't mean that the next two months won't be hard. I wish I could read something like this so I guess I wrote this for those that are in the same situation(ish) so they can relate. So, if you are the prayerful type... pray. Pray for someone to finance us so we can stay on track, for Montana Man to stay well and have enough work to keep the bills paid, for the baby to not come early, and for my sinful, worrisome, insecure heart to cling to Jesus.

My 'Get Ready For Baby' List and 25 Week Update

Mini Me at 6 weeks

I am now 25 weeks and the third trimester is coming up fast! I am natural 'prepper' and I love me a good list. This is my third baby so after the first two I have learned what is and isn't worth sweating, spending money or spending time on. I was given a ton of baby clothes, toys, entertainment apparatuses and the like from very generous friends and family last time and in no time I felt like we were drowning the living room in baby things! While I did use most of everything I have decided what I found most helpful and will be using again. Along with this I have learned what I really needed in the first weeks and months. I still have many things to do and my goal is to have things ready to just unpack into the house as soon as it is done so there will be no last minute scrambling. I have divided these responsibilities into the next two months.

June

Must dos:

-complete sewing newborn cloth diapers and inserts

-dig out the rest of the cloth diaper stash and check over

-sort newborn-six month clothing and make a list of needed items

-finish a few more freezer meal items (90% done!)

-sew crib sheets


Would like to dos:

- make or buy a new cover for the rock n' play (it is currently pink!)

-start knitting socks and a couple winter hats (he will be 3 months by December)


July

Must dos:

-go through home birth supplies, order and collect new

-transition Mini Me into a toddler bed (we might wait until we move into the house)

-wash all clothes and diapers new or stored alike

-pack all diapers and clothes in easy to access totes

-go shopping for new nursing tanks and other needed clothing

-big shopping trip at the bulk store, make a master grocery order for local store (for online ordering)

-stock milk bags, nursing pads, clean pump and make sure it's working well

-wash and install infant car seat

-make a list of numbers and information for D-day (midwife, doulas, pediatrician, rescue, my parents, Montana Man), so anyone can call if I am out of it


Would like to dos:

-finish knitting projects

-go on an overnight 'babymoon' (this depends on house and finances)

-can as much garden produce as is ready

-make and freeze some extra breakfast items

-get some goodies for birth attendants (toothbrushes, snacks, drinks)

-pregnancy photo shoot


Looking at this list it looks like a lot but many of these items are things that I would do at the same time or in an hour or two. Totally do able! And, nesting is a very important part of getting ready for a baby emotionally. Quite honestly babies do not give a hoot whether or not you remembered to stock up on toilet paper or how many onsies are neatly folded in the drawer. They would happily live cuddled up with you naked for weeks! Most of this is for me and those around me so that we have the freedom to enjoy the new baby without worry (nothing is more stressful than running out of that toilet paper!).

My list of baby gear I will be using the first year is:

infant car seat
Boppy nursing pillow
swaddling blankets, receiving blankets, knit blankets
20-30 newborn/small diapers, 15-20 medium diapers, 15-20 large diapers
25 cloth wipes
baby bath insert for kitchen sink
2-3 baby bath towels
assorted 0-12 month clothing
co-sleeper for our bed (for first 2 months or so)
crib
changing table, mat, canvas bins for clothes
swing
Ergo baby carrier and sling carrier
stroller
activity mat (yes, my pink one, he won't care!)
age appropriate toys
breast pump, storage bags, etc
bottles (I have about 5 small and 5 large)
Soothie pacifiers (not a huge fan of pacifiers but when your boobs hurt they are a life saver for a baby who wants to suck non stop!)
highchair
diaper bag (I am getting a new one, yay!)
exersaucer (love!)
sippy cups, toddler utensils and dishes
bibs (nursing bibs and toddler bibs)
rock n play (great safe place for baby to nap or watch family that is portable)
audio baby monitor (no video, lame I know!)
2-3 crib sheets and changing pad covers

If I didn't already have a lot of these things I would be perfectly fine with less! In fact, this is less than what I used with Mini. I don't need my bassinet, wipe warmer, bumbo, and a few other things. I didn't use them much and I'm sure I will pare down even more after this baby! Yes, some of this is still for my own convenience (like the swing and nursing pillow) but I like them and that's why I use them! Having a baby isn't about having every new gadget or seeing how minimal you can get by with. It's not a contest! But, that being said, I do think that too many gadgets start to take away from the more natural side of parenting. Babies need to be held, fed, played with, taken outdoors, shown things... if you are constantly just focusing on the stuff for the baby you might over look the simplicity of the baby itself. There were many days where all I did was hold, nurse and change Mini... and she was happy! A day like that only takes diapers, wipes, maybe a onesie and me, the whole day. I also like my house to not look like BabiesRus exploded in it, just saying. Somethings I listed will not be used all at the same time either, outgrown things or those waiting to be used get stored downstairs. So, new parents, keep it simple and just love on your baby.

An update on me now at 25 weeks... I have gained about 20 pounds, am back to focusing on my diet more (I'll admit, I was slacking!) and am in general good health. I still have pretty strong Braxton Hicks contractions all through the day but they don't seem to be doing any harm other than to my sanity sometimes! My back is holding up well and I have been surprised by my lack of heartburn this time. My energy seems pretty good most days although this may be my altered point of view on fatigue since I can't remember what it was like before kids. Little man is measuring perfect and moves all the time now, like a little kickboxer in there! I'd like to know where he learned to kick the back of my belly button... that hurts! But, I think the best thing is that I have a nice tight round belly this time. I was over weight when I got pregnant with Mini Me and I gained quite a bit with her. Because of that my belly never had that really cute roundness and it was always kinda flabby even at full term. I weigh now what I did at about 12 weeks last time! If I stay on the track I am I will likely total at about 30-35 pounds gained. Better than nearly 50! I can't say what a relief that is to me looking forward to my postpartum time because I know that at least 25 pounds of it will be gone within two weeks. I realize moms don't like to think about weight during or after pregnancy, but for me I know it will make me a better, happier mom to be in control of it and feel confident. 10 pounds to lose is much easier to grasp than 30. I did lose all my pregnancy weight (plus another 10 pounds) before this pregnancy and it made all the difference.

As I get closer I will share what our birth plan is and what is in our birth supplies, etc. After visiting a friend in the hospital today who just had her baby, and getting lost 3 times, I realized just how much I appreciate the freedom to birth at home! She had a wonderful experience and many moms do in hospitals, but it just isn't me. I'm a homebody. I like the idea of being able to walk our beautiful quiet road or in the field, sleep in my bed, eat my food, have everyone come to me! It just feels natural and unhindered. There is also something to be said from the point of view as a doula. When you go to a mother's home you are being welcomed into their sacred space and there because they allowed you. It has an energy you don't get on, what I would consider a hospital, neutral ground. Everything is warmer, electric and gives you the energy to serve that mama in any way you can. I could spout out statistics of safety and make my point that way but really at this point for me it's about the spiritual experience of welcoming our new life. Both Montana Man and I treasure this.

Another garden update and the arrival of the chicks will be next! Til next time.

From Average to More Series: Meals

Sorry, again, for the infrequent posts. I guess that's why I have so few followers! But, nevertheless, I really blog for the self expression not for popularity. Not really my style anyway! This post is all about meals after our new little one is born. If you read *this post* you would know that this is a very important and somewhat touchy subject for me. Yes, it's just food, but food is what heals a recovery body, feeds a new baby through the mama and keeps the rest of the family happy. Three times a day I do not want to be stressing out while I would much rather be nursing a new babe or spending the little ones' nap time helping the oldest with school work. As for the grandparents and other family, I would like them to be able to just visit with the kids and not feel obligated to feed us. With a pregnancy that is not going quite how I had planned, this is one thing I can still tackle with in my activity limits!

So, this week I started stocking the freezer with meals and meal ingredients. Earlier this week I accomplished 4 meals of a delicious creamy macaroni and cheese and 5 dozen meatballs. Both I vacuum sealed because they need to last at least another four months. In order for a good number of meals to fit in the freezer that will be in our house I decided to put the macaroni and cheese straight into the bag after mixing and flattened it after sealing. This allows for me to either stack or stand each up without taking up a lot of room. I like an organized freezer! They also thin enough that a mere 60 minutes in a sink of cold water should thaw them completely so no worries if I forget to take one out the night before. There is a method to my madness...

My target amount of meals either complete or partially prepped is 50. Most will be dinner items but some will be quick breakfast items and things to make lunches with when there aren't any leftovers. Let's get to listing!

Fully assembled main dishes:

Creamy Macaroni and Cheese
Orange Chicken Kit
Crockpot Chicken Paprikash Kit
Crockpot Chicken Broccoli Alfrado Kit
Crockpot Chili Kit
Spinach Rice Cassarole
Chicken Olive Rice Cassarole
Crockpot Beef Stew Kit
BBQ Pulled Pork
Lasagnas, vegetable and meat

Cooked meal components:

Meatballs
Browned pub style steak
browned hamburger
Grilled chicken, sliced
Formed/raw burger patties

Breads:

Unbaked rolls
Pizza dough
Sandwich bread
Waffles
Hamburger and Hotdog rolls

Store bought items to have on hand:

Tortillas
Hotdogs
Tomato paste (for quick GF tomato soup!)
Cheeses
Snack foods (nuts, pretzels, raisins, etc.)
Tortilla chips
Salad makings

Baking mixes

Cornbread
Muffins
Pancakes

Amounts of each of these will greatly depend on space, budget and my energy level. I would like to get most of it done in the next couple months before it gets hot and I bigger. Yesterday marked the half way point at 20 weeks and I am excited to now be able to say I am more than half way there! Other than being forced to slow down because of contractions, this is a relatively easy pregnancy so far physically. Emotionally, I seem to be finding a time of digging around in the skeleton closet of my soul. Through my good friend who has been doing myofascial release on me for a few months now I spent the day yesterday at a wellness center and had a full two hour session of MFR with the owner. One hour was on the table and the other in the salt water pool (heaven!) Through letting myself unwind and surrendering to it I realized I am carrying years of hurts, worries, insecurities and physical pain in my not-so-old body. Slowly they have been distorting my body layer by layer. After the first unwinding I was considerably more comfortable! After 2 hours of therapy and a good nights sleep I woke up for the first time in over a month without my round ligaments (they support the uterus) screaming. I so look forward to continuing this exploration. And just to clarify... I realize to some of my fellow Christians this may sound 'spiritually dangerous'. To this I say, God made my body and the mysterious and awesome fascial system that surrounds every muscle and organ! He also designed it to tell us when we are hurt, stressed and sick as well as how to fix it. For me it takes nothing more than some strong hands to start a stretch and a clear prayerful mind to correct what needs to be. Just like yoga can be focused on Christ or Buddha, so too can this be done in His Glory or not. So don't be afraid because God is who is doing the real healing for me!

Tune in later for more of the series!

Til next time.

From Average to More Series: Chores, Plus Some Springtime Extras

It's seems I skipped a week! I could make excuses but I am a mama of two, pregnant with the third and that is all you need to know. Yet, I will go into detail as to how I have been feeling which did influence said missed post. But, first, would you like to see how big I am??

Sorry, it's a phone "selfie". Is that even spelled right? I hate that term. Anyway, there I am, that was a week and a half ago at 16 weeks and change. I was in Michigan at the time which was a great trip, by the way. I love my cousin and her family out there, if only we lived a bit closer to each other!

So, as the title suggests we will be talking about chores. I cringe over this currently because I have been somewhat restricted recently due to contractions and the like. It's been concluded that I am not having preterm labor but I am to be monitored a bit closer for it and not over extend myself especially with lifting. When Montana Man is home he has been helping me tremendously, but when I am solo I am doing the best I can. Sometimes my best is still too much and I end up having contractions at night which I calm down with an herbal tincture and half a beer. It's frustrating and tiring but I will make it work! Because of where we are with house construction and my condition we have decided to scale back our barnyard ambitions for this season. Grudgingly and with some relief also I cancelled getting the goats. I'm not super woman and really waiting another year won't do us any harm. I think we might also be waiting on pigs as well. The house is progressing but slowly as we are building it ourselves from this point and do not have a crew. It should be livable before baby arrives but it might be close! The chores I am left with I will illustrate for you as small as they may be.

The chickens we will be adding to this year and the flock will be quite large for the summer but will be whittled back down in the fall when we fill the freezer. I have mentioned getting heavier breeds to be for both meat and eggs and intend to increase the laying portion of the flock to around 20-30 so that I can sell more. My hope is to end up with some broody hens next spring and have them hatch next years chicks. Caring for them will still be pretty minor especially once we get a proper coop and run done. It's a basic feed, water, clean, collect the eggs routine that would take less than 30 minutes a day total.

The horse is still pretty easy what with his free choice hay and not using a stall. Obviously I am not riding him but I do want to get back to some ground work with him soon. We will move him back over to the "pond pasture" for the summer and then over to our new house when his paddock is done.

What I currently do is do chores either during nap time or after the kids have gone to bed. Very rarely do I get up to do them before the kids are up in the morning. I have no shame in saying I am not a morning person and if I were to get up before Puzzle Boy that would be 5:30. No, thank you. So nap time will be my aim since during the winter months that would allow me to actually see what I am doing. I will probably steal outside for a couple minutes just to let the chickens out in the morning but the rest will have to wait for nap time. And, that's it! Nothing to exciting.

Spring is still at war with Old Man Winter as it is cold today and snowed two inches overnight. NOT impressed. However, everything in the greenhouse is either coming up or thriving including the onion and cabbage seedlings I moved out there a couple days ago. I forgot to take pictures but I will soon! My four small raised beds are full of tiny white and red Russian kale, spinach and Rainbow Chard as well as peas that I planted along the back edge of each box. When the peas are a couple inches tall I will make them a trellis of yarn so they can crawl up along the sides of the walls out of the way of the greens. If this works well this might be a new ritual for springtime to get a jump on the growing season with the little greenhouse! So far the greens seem to have germinated well if not a little slow but given I direct seeded them all it took was a few days over 50 degrees to get them to take off. Hopefully it will stay cool enough to get some good spinach without bolting. We'll see!

And, a final note... while I was having testing done to make sure I wasn't in labor we found out we are having a... boy! Yay! Sweet little man.

Til next time.

Going From an Average to a Large Family Attitude

With baby three on the way this has granted me a pause to reflect on how things will change. Our vehicle will be at it's max for capacity when we are all together. We don't have enough dining chairs. Grocery shopping is about to go from an adventure to an insane adventure (unless I order them and just pick them up *winkwink*). My laundry will again increase by a lot due to diapers and lots of clothing changes for the little one. Etc... fill in the blank, you get the picture. Some of you I am sure have 3 or more children and are either nodding in quiet agreement or some of you are saying "What's the big deal?". I have the urge to go with you who are saying the later and just not worry about it. But, then I think, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!". Just keeping it real here. No, I wouldn't necessarily call a family of five 'large' but it does change the dynamic more significantly than going from one to two children. For one thing, as parents, you are now out numbered. Reality check. I am a researcher. I like to research things. So what have I been researching lately? How to change my household logistics so I can confidently carry out organized chaos in 6 months time. Otherwise I might realize it's 2:00 in the afternoon and the goat is cussing me out for forgetting to milk her and my kids will still be in there clothes from yesterday. Ok, that's an extreme and unlikely scenario. Let's move on.

Because of my this new and uncharted territory for our family I am going to do a series on my preparations by the area of our life. Laundry, car, meals, homeschooling, cleaning, shopping, chores and, last but not least, personal time and husband/wife time. These I will schedule for Wednesday mornings over the next seven weeks. That will be perfect timing for me to start a new series on our spring here! Depending on progress I'm sure a house update or two will fill in the blanks on other days of the week.

Hey, Guess What?!

The garden isn't the only thing I am growing this year... I'm also growing a human! Ta da! Ah, the miracle that God bestowed upon us women. While I do generally feel this is true I won't lie, pregnancy and I are not the best of friends. Thankfully I have been blessed with another mild first trimester but with more nausea than last time. Nothing a few little tricks couldn't handle and no puking thank goodness! So other than that and needing to pee ALL THE TIME it's been smooth sailing. But, the struggle will come when I get bigger!

This time around I find myself a bit more anxious about adding a new little one. While I trust God's judgement, I was/am not 100% ready for this baby quite yet. God spoke to both my heart and Montana Man's and very clearly told us it was time to let this fall on his timing. For months he spoke and for months I baulked. Finally Montana Man asked me to obey both God and him and I took the leap of faith and I did it afraid. Little did I know God's timing would be the first month without prevention. While I am excited and was happy to find out I still have reservations. Mainly how we will adjust to being a family of five and getting the house to a liveable state by August, a month before I am due. And, how I will survive the heat of summer! I always said I never wanted to be largely pregnant in the summer, stinks to be me! Hahaha. So, anyway, my adjustments will probably come up again before and after the birth.


Hold on... gotta pee.



Ok, where was I? Oh, yes. So this time around I am wiser a thing or two. Nutrition is a big priority to me and this time I know what real pregnancy nutrition looks like. This played a big factor in how I felt and my health last time and I learned my lesson later than I should have. I spent my third trimester trying to keep pre-eclampsia at bay and while I did successfully my body took a hit. Second, I had polyhydramnios (or too much amniotic fluid). I believe this contributed to my postpartum hemorrhage and possibly my prolonged labor. My poor uterus had enough to carry around what with nine pounds of baby and another two of placenta! Too much fluid made it very stretched and stressed. Now, other than general good health I do not know how to prevent this again so I will just pray.

Another thing that is different this time is that through a friendship I have been receiving myo-facial release therapy. I find this both invigorating and balancing and am excited to see it's positive effects on this pregnancy! I am so thankful for my friend and only wish I could bless her as much as she blesses me.

Preparations will also be a big item on my list. Last time I foolishly thought I didn't need to prepare many meals or arrange for help because people would just offer to bless us! After all we were part of a great church body and missional community and I grew up watching their generosity toward new moms. I was in for a shock that still stings a bit. While I was living in my parents home and did have some help... I had a husband that worked an hour away and was gone a lot, and my mom and dad both had demanding jobs. I'm not sure if people just assumed we were fine because of our living arrangements but we got only one meal from someone other than close family (for a grand total of 3 meals). I was faced with a slow recovery from severe anemia and I just felt like a burden to my family. It frustrated me I was unable to cook or clean for weeks because walking from my room to the bathroom exhausted me. I did not feel this way at first but as the birth high hormones wore off I felt, well, gypped. While it may be petty to have the attitude to not trust that others will be more generous this time, I will not put myself or my family through that kind of postpartum period again. So, this time I plan to make a month of meals and order my groceries online so I can either pick them up quickly or have someone grab them for me. I will also ask instead of a baby shower (cause I really don't need one this time!) if anyone would like to either come help me with small household things like folding laundry or even just hanging with my kids while I take a shower longer than three minutes. I will be getting paper plates and using the crock pot! Montana Man will be able to be home for the first week at least but then during the week it will just be me. While I feel confident I will adjust fine and get a new routine down quickly, I would just rather be able to take a month or more off from meal stress and extend that peace of mind to my family (especially my mom!).

I will touch on other goals as this pregnancy progresses (like making more diapers), but for now I am enjoying the last few weeks of my clothes still fitting.

Til next time.

What to Feed a Very Pregnant Lady

^ This is a very pregnant lady. That was me last March two days before I started my ridiculously long labor. If you are curious you can read about it here. But I could have been in big trouble and ended up with a preemie if I had not gotten a wake up call from my midwife. When I was about 30-32ish weeks pregnant I wasn't feeling so great and was having subtle signs of preeclampsia. Preeclampsia is not something to screw with, if left untreated it has the potential to be fatal to both mother and baby. Doctors will tell you there is no rhyme or reason women get it but midwives and the educated wise woman knows different. So as wise women do I am sharing my knowledge with you. Preeclampsia can be directly traced to malnourishment in the mother, particularly protein deficiency. I was so big and so uncomfortable and so tired, thinking of fixing a meal was daunting. I bottom line was starving because what food I did eat went right into growing baby, nothing left for mama. Now I was fortunate to have my midwife catch this early and run a test that confirmed I needed to EAT and eat a lot. And then I was even more lucky to be living with my mommy to feed me said food. In two weeks I was back to a good place but I had to keep eating like a hippo until I popped. She was worth it!

What did I eat? I ate real food. I ate 100 grams of protein a day (hard!), lots of greens, nuts, fruit smoothies, raisins (good iron), ice cream (calories baby!) oily fish and whole milk. During the last 3 months of pregnancy, you need more food than you could ever wish to even look at when your stomach is stuffed underneath your left lung, but eat it you must!

A friend of mine is in the end months and she was starting to feel the same way I was. Since I have a passion for all things pregnancy and birth and babies, I wanted to mother this mother-to-be! So I am veering off of my challenge just a hair to make this awesome lady some killer baby-grow.

Salmon Chowder. (calories and omega 3 fatty acids)
Braised greens with bacon. (greens!!!!! can't stress those enough)
Personal quiches with broccoli and cheese. (eggs, veggies, dairy)
Lentil soup with more bacon. (iron and protein in lentils are great for vegetarians)

Also got her cashew nuts and sending her little boxes of raisins. The name of the game is Iron, Calcium, Protein, Omega oils, Calories, Nutrient Dense. If you are very pregnant and all you have had today was a peanut butter and jelly with a cup of decaf coffee then you need a reality check. Tough love guys, you are growing a human, not just a really cute bump. If your baby was on the outside you wouldn't feed him crap, don't do it while he is in you either. So much passes to him that if you take Tums for your heartburn, you will have calcium deposits in your placenta. AKA you will be blocking blood vessels. Take papaya enzyme tablets instead, they work great.

End of rant, hope you learned something valuable, if you already knew all this then kudos.

My Daughter's Birth Story

I found out I was pregnant in July when I happened to be going to my doctor for a med check and was 4 days late. Curious, yet, doubting I really was pregnant I asked if I could do a urine test since I was there anyway. I had no sooner got back to the exam room and got settled to chat with my doctor than the nurse popped her head in and simply said it was positive. I was thrilled and a bit shocked! I had lost a pregnancy in it's early weeks the month before and had just begun seeing an OB for fertility testing. This was wonderful news, however, I was now nervous as the waiting began to see if this was going to be a viable pregnancy after 3 that were not.
My OB decided I should start on a progesterone treatment to help support my pregnancy. Just wanting a healthy pregnancy I went with it. But in the back of my mind it bothered me a bit. After my husband and I got home from our trip to Montana we had an ultrasound at 8 weeks and everything looked great! Healthy little bean. Then we had a nurse visit before we left to outline the next seven months of care. By about the third test we declined we could tell she was getting a little annoyed at our take charge attitude involving my pregnancy. We got that “Oh, you're one of those couples” look. When we got in the car we both just looked at each other and knew we would not be coming back. I called Susi soon after to set up a consultation. After trying to have a baby for the better part of the last year I was not going to have someone bully me into situations that made me uncomfortable!
We loved Susi and transferred my records to her and never looked back. The first and second trimester went fairly smoothly with no morning sickness and really only fatigue to complain about. I really enjoyed that period! Then came the third. All I can say is UGH! Cue swelling, prodromal labor and heartburn that could melt a skillet. By 30 weeks I was just counting the days until I could be done. I felt and looked like an over saturated sponge begging for someone to ring me out. Suspicious of how I was feeling, Susi ran some blood tests and it concluded that I wasn't eating enough and was heading for preeclampsia if I didn't get my act together. So, I began the full time job of eating. I was not a good employee to my body and there was many an afternoon my mom came home and fed me from then until she went to bed. The extra food and supplements did make me feel better though, and it wasn't until now that I had realized growing a baby is work in one way or another.

Several times I thought I was going into labor, but it always petered out. At 37 weeks I was loosing it. I cried uncontrollably for a whole day after I had been up most of the night with regular contractions. I watched announcements of other people's babies crop up on facebook what seemed like daily. I was envious and miserably so. I struggled for days with this trying to be happy for others as I bawled at their status updates! I will admit this was not one of my prouder moments, I was acting like a toddler demanding to know when her surprise party was. I was tired from the strain on my body and the constant contractions, I just wanted to be done. So what did I do? I gave up. Said, screw it, she'll come out eventually, for now I give up trying to get things going.

I was 38 weeks on the first of March, a Thursday. Friday I decided to make an appointment to get my hair cut the next day. I figured with two kids I would have no time to get it cut after she was born. Saturday came and I woke up in a bit of a bad mood. Kyle and I had argued the night before about something, I can't quite remember. I went to my haircut and came back feeling a bit better and noticed I was having contractions quite a bit. I decided to dismiss them and went about my day. Jeremiah and Kyle went to a play date that evening and my mom decide she and dad would take me to my “last supper” out. To Mexican. Subtle. Just wanting to go out I said fine and away we went. The dish I got was not spicy and wasn't terribly good either. Oh well, it was another break from the house! That night Kyle and I settled our grouchy attitudes and went to bed. He got up at 2:15ish am. to get ready to work a short shift at the airport and I thought about getting up to pee. I fell back asleep until about 3:00 when my bladder firmly suggested I get my butt out of bed and empty it. Away I stumbled across the hall. For some reason I flicked the light on that time, usually I just left it off considering the night light sufficient. After I wiped I looked at the paper out of habit and was shocked to see a bloody streak on it. I had a flash of the same emotion I had when I got my first period... weird. Then when it sunk in what the streak meant I got a stupid grin on my face and hurried to see if Kyle had left for work yet. He just happened to forget his keys that morning and was on his way back in the door as I came to tell him I thought I was starting labor. I told him if I needed him I would call him home and he went to work. I thought about going back to bed but I had started having really crampy contractions and figured I might as well encourage things to get going. I sat on my birth ball and watched a recorded show while I did hip rotations and relished the feeling of real labor surges. They had immediately organized into a pattern of 3-4 minutes apart and about a minute long but were fairly mild. By 4:45 I figured I would just let mom know I was in labor. She was so excited she almost shot out of bed, but I assured her I was just getting going so she should go back to sleep. I went back to the living room with a bowl of cereal and just hung out in the quiet. I called Susi at 6:00 to let her know my labor had started and she said she would be by to see me around 7:30. Then I called Kyle to come home soon. Susi came and checked me out and listened to the baby and said I was in early labor and then left. She called to check in around 1:00 and I was still plugging away at the same pace though things were getting more intense by that time. I was handling the surges well and felt good although a bit tired. Susi said she would call back to check on me at 5:00 unless I felt I needed to call sooner. I snacked and enjoyed Jeremiah's nap time in the rocking chair. My feet and legs were so swollen that mom suggested laying down with my feet up for a bit, but that sounded awful! I liked my chair! Things were getting heavier and the motion and even the creaking of the old chair were really soothing me.

By 4:00 I wanted to be checked. It had been 13 hours since I had started labor and I wanted some reassurance that it was going to fruitful in the near future. Mom called Susi and she arrived about 4:30. When she checked me I was 2 cm (call the press!!!) and 90% effaced. Oh, I tried so hard to not act disappointed...

OK, things from here on get a little jumbled and fuzzy. I think I got in the shower for a bit as active labor kicked into gear. Sometime later (11:00 pm. I was told) Brenda, the assisting midwife came to take over for Susi and her student Lara. She listened to the baby with the Doppler and then strongly suggested Kyle and I cuddle for a bit. I had been checked again a bit earlier and was only 5 cm but fully effaced. I had retreated to my bed even though the contractions were more painful laying down. I was getting exhausted. Food and drink did not interest me and it took a lot of coaxing to get some into me. I think about an hour later I started getting nauseous and shaky and unwillingly giving a bit of a grunty push at the end of the surge. At the time I thought nothing much of it but when I asked Susi after the birth when I had gone through transition she told me that was it. We figure I went from 5 to 10 cm in about 2 hours or so. At some point I went to my glider in the corner of my room and labored there for a couple hours only leaving it's relative comfort to pee. I remember glaring at Kyle as he lay sleeping on the bed only feet from me. Someone came in to listen to the baby and make me take a sip of water every few contractions. It wasn't hard to tell when I had one because I was moaning them out fairly load now. Oh, the back labor, how I hated it. If not for that crap that labor would have been cake. Finally, I think around 6:00 am. Susi came in and wanted to check me again. This time I was complete and she thought I had been so for a little while. She told me not to get in my chair and that it was time to get things moving. So I stationed myself at the end of my bed and practiced pushing. I didn't really have much urge to push yet but she suggested I give a little push at the beginning of a surge to encourage that feeling. Oh man did it work! Kyle and mom watched over me as I got the hang of pushing. Kyle and I were alone when my water broke with a short splat on the chux I was standing on during a push. He was sitting right next to me and got his socks splashed. I apologized for the fluid that was soaking in and asked if he would go tell Susi my water broke. Not sure if he did or if Susi just happened to come in right after but announced clear fluid, dried my legs a bit and then got down to business. I tried squatting while hanging on to my foot board, standing, kneeling while Kyle sat in front of me and held my upper body and squatting being supported by Kyle from behind. Once I got her head through my cervix and down low enough to see I assumed the kneeling/ hands and knees position for most of the remaining push time. Susi gave my perineum support with hot washcloths and coached me to try to get her head through my bones. Finally I gave in to the burning pain and was crowning. In my head I was thinking to myself, “Holy sh*t this burns! They aren't kidding about the ring of fire!”. I buried my face in Kyle's knees and pushed hard, not that my body gave me many options. Trying to stay in control of that kind of force is challenging to say the least. My mom had gotten Jeremiah and they were on hands and knees in the doorway staring at the squishy head of hair I was working hard to get out. Jeremiah exclaimed, “Baby's head! Baby's coming out soon! Good job mommy”. My mom was giving me a play by play of what part of her face she could see with each push until finally her head was out. Then Susi asked me to step one of my legs forward to get her shoulders out. “What?”, I said, bewildered. Kyle told me to again and helped me straighten and get the leg up there. I pushed really hard and at 11:39 am. out she came! Along with Sebago Lake. She got passed under my legs to Kyle and he handed her to me. She was wet and warm and smelled like a hot tub. A little in shock I managed to seat myself on Kyle's lap and tried to get Grace to cry. She was breathing fine but her lungs were a bit wet still. I chuckled in my head as Kyle asked for a rag to wipe the meconium off his arms.
In the background I heard a sickening splattering. Realizing it was coming from me I looked down to see a puddle of blood forming at my feet. I expected to see my placenta come flying out with it. Didn't happen. I pushed a little as Kyle stimulated my nipple. Still didn't happen. I was given a tincture, nothing. So we cut the cord and I hobbled over to my bed. I got Grace latched on to my breast and just admired her perfection while Susi checked me for any tears. Not so much as a skid mark! Jer came and met his sister and mom snapped pictures. After a few minutes it became apparent that the placenta that was half in half out needed some attention. I reluctantly gave Kyle Grace and was helped into a squat on the bed. I pushed, coughed and pleaded with the stupid organ but no luck. And Susi and Brenda's faces were getting worried. I got catheterized and Lara fed me more tinctures. While on my hands and knees I had a big gush of blood and Susi quickly said, “Pit her”, to Brenda. Things were starting to get desperate. After I got laid back down and Susi unsuccessfully tried to manually help the placenta out, she and Brenda went into the bathroom to talk. I knew the word hospital was being said. They came back and I agreed it would be best to transfer. I had lost a lot of blood, so much my ears were ringing now.

It didn't take long for the EMTs to arrive. Brenda was finishing getting me dressed as I told mom what to dress Grace in when they came in the room. Having worked at a store during high school that they frequented, I recognized two of them right away and the other I had grown up with in school. Familiar faces were a comfort. Given the tight hallway they brought in a wheeled chair to get me out to the truck. As I stood up and got seated my vision immediately went fuzzy and gray and my hearing reduced to a muffle. I wasn't scared though, I knew God was with me and I was going to be OK. I reassured Kyle as I was wheeled past him, barely able to hold my head off my chest. He looked terrified as the last of my vision disappeared. Outside the cool air registered against my skin as did the brilliant sunlight that filtered in through my darkness. The men lifted me onto the gurney and as I laid back the blood was able to restore my vision and hearing rather quickly. Susi climbed in with me and sat at my head and two of the EMTs stationed on either side of me. The kid I went to school with took the wheel and off we went. Kyle and mom were going to follow with Grace. They got IV fluids started after fitting me with oxygen and Susi called ahead to let Labor and Delivery know we were on our way so we could skip the ER. I chatted with the guys on the way and the ride went pretty quick. When we got there they rolled me out and through the sliding doors. I got a wrist band and we headed up to the L&D floor. In triage I told the nurse my baby was being brought by my husband and I wanted to be able to nurse her again before anything was done to me. She assured me I would be able to. I met a couple doctors and it was decided after examination that a D&C was going to be the best action to take. I signed forms, had another IV started and was briefed by the anesthesiologist. The nurse and Susi helped me nurse Grace and then collect some colostrum for while I was in surgery. I was then wheeled over to the OR and things got going. I woke up as they were wheeling me back into my triage room. Everything had gone fine, they had found that my membranes hadn't separated from my uterus and had stopped my placenta from being able to birth. It was a rare complication and not something I should expect to see again.
I got settled in my postpartum room after getting two pints of blood to replenish a good amount of my total volume. Our pastor came to see us and held Grace for a bit while I ate some supper. After he left, I tried to get some sleep between feedings and nurses coming in. Mom left in the morning when Kyle got up. We spent the day trying to get me discharged and after I had my catheter removed and peed twice, I was. Susi had been by a bit before to check in and give Grace a better exam. We hadn't had time for a full one before I transferred but we did manage to weigh her the night before at the hospital. 8 pounds, 12 ounces and 21 inches! I was given instructions and some Floradix for my iron and was told she would see me Thursday. I showered and dressed while mom was on her way to pick us up and finally we got to go home! Nothing was sweeter than returning home to my bed to cuddle with my new baby.

Her birth was perfect, third stage not so much. But, honestly I have no fears to have another home birth. I was in good and skilled hands as well as my Father's, He never left me through out my 33 hours of labor or the weeks of recovery after. I was and am happy with my story.